Freesound Forums

I don't know if anyone will do this but I'm looking for a sample of someone speaking in a dramatic (slightly humorous) tone, like a king from one of those old movies about Rome or Greece. I want it to say this (I wrote this):

You cannot shun me, simply because you have a slight feeling I might be gay! I'll have you slain for this! I'll... I'll... I'll cut off your penises and feed them to the dogs, that is if you are to continue badgering me about insignificant political matters. This is outrageous, bordering absurd! I say my good men do you really think that a man like this, incompetent as a leader, and corrupt as a judge, who probably has erectile disfunction, would ever say a thing to make one proud of themselves? This.. this... snake is hellbent on turning all of our reputations to ruins! This man is beyond the point of being able to overcome his vain own obssesions! I say we make waste of this pathetic excuse for a human being!

As you can tell this is a LONG request. But I would be really glad if someone could make it for me.

That's another one that really needs an empty house for a while ... difficult with a house full of relatives for the New Year ... let's see what happens.

Update: Here you are - a bit rushed due to family commitments

http://freesound.iua.upf.edu/samplesViewSingle.php?id=27872

Wauahaha! Mike at his best right here. I'd try myself but there's no way to top it.
Dare I ask what you're going to use this for, flowers?