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Ok, I know this is highly unlikely, but does anyone have any sounds of crashing or falling pianos? Or pianos otherwise being destroyed in some fashion?

I know Royal deluxe shoot a piano with a giant catapult .

Some time ago there was an exhibition of their weirdo theatrical inventions at the 'zomer van Antwerpen' (summer of Antwerp).
They crashed frequently an old piano there... maybe, someone did record it

hope you find something!